Last night, I picked up Matt Haig’s #1 Best Seller Reasons to Stay Alive and read it cover-to-cover in a single sitting.
Beyond being a well-written, slim read, the book touched a nerve as someone who has fought with chronic anxiety and depression – though, in spite of the subject material, I only found myself tearing up a few times during the brief 3 hours.
The book chronicles Haig’s depressive episode in 1999 at the age of 24 and subsequent on-going battle with the twin beasts of Depression and Anxiety, almost inextricably linked as he notes multiple times.
The book was clearly written as a roadmap for those walking the same path – pointing out helpful road signs to guide others through the darkest patches, particularly for those who may be encountering depression for the first time.
In many ways, Haig seems to be trying to pen a missive to his past self (at several points, very literally in a dialogue with himself) and to write the book that he would have wanted to read while most struggling.
I found the book to be a genuine and engaging read with a very realistic (but also humorous) take on the heavy subject.
Of the many points that resonated with me, here are a few:
His description of anxiety.
Haig describes anxiety as “pouring gasoline” onto the fire of depression – speeding up the process and bringing your thoughts into hypermotion.
Throughout the book, he sparingly uses unexpected quotations to great effect and he quotes a tweet of poet Melissa Broder in her description of Depression: what idiot called it ‘depression’ and not ‘there r bats living in my chest and they take up a lot of room p.s. i always see a shadow.’
His descriptions of the physical symptoms of anxiety and depression were something that resonated with me – though personally I’ve always thought of my sneaking depression more akin to water slowly filling a room than the all-consuming fire Haig references.
The danger of goals.
This is one of the less intuitive points in the book but one that had me quite literally tapping my Kindle screen in agreement.
Haig underlines that while setting goals can be a helpful force for motivating forward progress, goals can be a double edged blade as, when you’ve achieved your goals, finding yourself still unhappy, you may think “If I’m not happy when I’ve done X, how will I ever be happy?”
He doesn’t attribute the thought to himself (citing philosophers who have used similar arguments), but I do think the point is quite effective here.
Haig doesn’t necessarily give a recommendation one way or another (this book really doesn’t deal in recommendations so much as empathetic musings and his own story) but it is something to beware of.
Haig’s use of evocative imagery and unpretentious take on the subject made it an easy and thought-provoking read and one I would recommend to anyone struggling with depression or who knows someone who is (i.e. everyone).
While he does list his titular “reasons to stay alive,” Haig respects that everyone experiences depression differently. He doesn’t project that what helps or hurts him will help or hurt you, though he still provides the information.
At most, perhaps his book can help fan the flame of hope in a happier future and, at least, it should serve to make you feel less alone in the experience – and hopefully give you an unexpected laugh or two in the process.
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